i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
