Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
