This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
