I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
