Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
