I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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