I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
