i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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