Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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