Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I will be naked everywhere
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
