dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I think i got beer on your cat.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
