do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
