I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
