There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
