The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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