Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My dick has a subreddit
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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