The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
