In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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