SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
