I want to have your abortion
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
