Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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