I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
