I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
