how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
