If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Randomize
