I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
