her vagine was all disorganized.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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