it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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