There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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