Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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