I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
