I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
