I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
