Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
