sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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