Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
