im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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