ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm too high and old for this...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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