I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
