You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
