The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
