have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
