Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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