drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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