Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
