Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
