i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
