last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
