that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I don't deserve a penis
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
