Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
