i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Enjoy the penises
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
