sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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